I’m A Pervert and I’m Proud Of It!!

Are you one of those people who don’t just watch films..they rape them!!!!! And I don’t mean that in the offensive way I mean it in the way a dog would devour a bone way…okay just in case you were wondering I’m not talking about porn, I’m talking about normal movies you see in the theatres. Of course not the Hanna Montana’s or National Lampoons, this is more on the dare-I say-it “Indie” circuit. (GASP!!). I like to think I get it from my actor side of my brain…which I call the Dramatic lobe (it has many uses than the one stated here). I came across this wonderful piece of production called “ The Perverts Guide To Cinema” I must say I was thrilled at the fact of this piece of medium rare sirloin stake. Mmmmmmo. I suppose it lets me know I’m not the only one who loooooooovvvvvesssssss what goes into a making of a movie.

Take a look: www.thepervertsguide.com

PS: listening to Wrecked Metal- Zeigeist naaaaiiicceee!!!!

Hey hey hey

Can you believe I haven’t done a single post in ages, I would say I have been busy but alas no, my life she be boring. Well not that I did recently celebrate my birthday last week and it was great a whole weekend of debauched goodness like a tub of Hag n Das, of course being lactose intolerant you all know what eventually happens afterwards……..yeah.
Fun was had by all who came to my little shindig on Thursday. Even tho my Birthday was the next day, I figured: How else to handle the impending realisation that as I’m getting older, the only rings I have, are the ones under my eyes, than by being as intoxicated with peeps as I can possibly get, and yeah, you should’ve seen all the rings I got.

Birthday Card

Inside Birthday Card...what lovely friends have I!!!!

Starting a job on Friday, wait wait wait, before you get all hoohah!! Its not in the field I’ve been looking for 5 MONTHS for, its in selling which I am more than happy to do than go back into waitering. Its something to do while I wait for my passport to come through and its in a gym! So I can finally do something about the thing that science calls my body.

Well off I go SpongeBob is starting……

Delayed Easter Update: Kavorting in KaKnysna KaNice

Hey ya, hoop ya’ll had a great Easter weekend, I know I did. I had the extreme opportunity to go on a roadtrip all the way to Knysna. Much fun was had, the places we went to, the people who skeefed us out, fun fun fun!! Even met up with a Amy and Delon and debauched the bar known as Zanzibar

But alas some things aren’t meant to last and we were on our way home. Now as you all probably heard of the Truck strikes on the N1, so we took the back way out, what we didn’t plan on was stumbling upon the set of The Hills Have Eyes. Some how we had found ourselves on a gravel road meandering through mountains and cattle gates. Passing comments like: Is that the decrepit building to which they store the bodies? Laughing at the fact that it would be ten times more scarier at night…flash forward 2 hours later and we were still, passing comments like: Is that the decrepit building to which they store the bodies? Not laughing at the fact that it IS ten times more scarier at night with the added plot points such as dead cell batteries and no reception.

I swear guys, Nats and me were literally going through the motions of insanity, I mean we could’ve turned a corner and stumble upon a Patricia Lewis Album Launch! Yes (Parents tuck the kids in bed) it’s that horrifying. At one point there was a bush in the middle of the road, which could’ve been a a cannibal redneck couching over a dead body, would have the reaction of: What the fuck is that????!!! WHAT THE F&*%!!????!?!? WHAT THE F@£$….A BUSH!!!!?!! WHAT THE F$%@??!!!!!! OH GOD A BUSH!!!!!

So it took three hours with a lot of Kylie Minogue and I Spy with my little eye but we made it, and lived to sell the movie rights.

What a country, what an island

There was a lot of stuff happening this weekend in the good ol’ Cape, The North Sea Jazz Festival – Moss Def !!!! and the flooding of celebrities to the opening of the new posh hotel The One and Only. “Wonderfully" located in the bowl of the Waterfront with “breathtaking” views of the Aquarium, um….yeah fuck the Burj Al Arab, I want spectacular views of those iconic billboards about those frog exhibitions, maybe they could do a joint billboard that goes..

“ you must be hopping mad to stay there…….and not come to the frog exhibition”


Of course I never went to any of those…urg, but I think the next thing is the Coke Fest, druggies don’t get your lollies in a pop, it’s the yearly fest of musicians that head over from the outside universe to visit our humble shores, in hopes of enlightening us to good real music, giving us a break from those Idols that should go Pop! Oasis, Snow Patrol, Panic at the disco…nice!!!! Just for interest sake here is my dreamlist for a coke fest:

Interpol
Kings of Leon
Bloc Party
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
with dj groups Cut Copy and Digitalism for pomping beats

now that would be worthy of awesomeness

Oh To Be An X-Man in the 80's

To Whom It May Concern

Dear life

Hi there my very good friend I have great news to share with you,, there is a chance that I will be moving out of UnemploymentVille. They say all good things come to an end…I still need to know whenever the land of UnemploymentVille had any thing good to offer except two stone throws away from Denialsville. Enough about that now, just be happy that I will be moving close to you!! Yes! now we can hang out and do all the stuff that I….I mean we….always wanted to do.

Will keep you posted.

Yours sincerely
Matt

A Pic From the Bloody Beetroots @ Assembly

I'm in here somewhere can you spot me?